49 Coronavirus and Quarantine Jokes to Retrain Your Face ...
What's the Blockchain, and Why Does Bitcoin Depend On It?
Funny Short Jokes - So Funny You Will Wet Yourself!!
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07-16 11:13 - 'The joke sounds racist, making people associate fried chicken with black people, given the already racist "cleansing" connotations gentrification has.' by /u/smilingbuddhauk removed from /r/Bitcoin within 149-159min
Business Professionals don't call each other names or make racist jokes about other industry members. "Princess Jihan" is not an appropriate way to refer to the CEO of the most successful Bitcoin company ever.
Business Professionals don't call each other names or make racist jokes about other industry members. "Princess Jihan" is not an appropriate way to refer to the CEO of the most successful Bitcoin company ever.
Business Professionals don't call each other names or make racist jokes about other industry members. "Princess Jihan" is not an appropriate way to refer to the CEO of the most successful Bitcoin company ever.
The purpose of this community is to draw attention to - and elicit meaningful action upon - instances of the growing problem of radicalization on Reddit.
We call for moderators and admins to take responsibility for their roles in the meme-ification & normalization of:
"Hate Subreddit" is defined here in AHS as: Reddit communities that exist primarily and materially for the purpose of incitement to hatred -- hatred against a group of persons, or a specific person, on the basis of: • race • ethnicity • national origin • gender • religion • sexual orientation • other inherent characteristics. Hate subreddits regularly show disdain for human rights and emotions, the results of academic research, and, of course, basic human decency.
Don't ask people to vote on items. Don't ask people to go to hate subreddits and dogpile comments on them. We don't do those things - because they are violations of the content policies, and because they serve the goals of bigots. We will ban accounts that do these things.
• We DO NOT participate in posts / threads / comments in hate subreddits. We don't vote; We don't comment; We don't feed the trolls.
Engagement and recruitment is Priority #1 of bigots - they don't want to debate you sincerely -- they want you to get angry, and bring your friends, and have those friends bring their friends - so they get lots and lots of attention and an audience and a list of potential recruits. They want to steal time and peace of mind from us, divide us and fracture our united front. Don't fall for it.
• We DO NOT amplify the hate messages of the bigots.
Censor slurs in your posts and comments wherever possible. Use the NSFW tag on your posts if submitting material that is patently offensive, hateful, pornographic, unsuitable for a work environment, etc. Use an archive service to submit posts wherever possible to make it inconvenient to join the bigot's efforts. If you are a bigot, and you want to participate here, you must do so in Good Faith -- if you come here to platform your bigotry, recruit, proselytise, or abuse people: you will be promptly banned. Your only reason to participate here is to help you find a way to get away from the people reinforcing your bigotry.
• We DO NOT Debate Economic Theory
There are other venues, of varying quality, and varying effectiveness, to recruit people to defend or critique capitalism / communism / barter / mutualism / welfare / Bitcoin / the Dahrendorf hypothesis / Bayesian regret. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR THOSE.
• We DO NOT delete or retroactively radically edit comments.
That's Bad Faith.
• We are NOT your Personal Army.
If the members of one demographic are traditionally vilifying / vilified by another demographic, we will not "take sides" "for" the representatives of either demographic using their respective subreddits as proxies - No International Political Slapfighting. We do make exceptions for subreddits, named for a demographic or international geographic compartment (i.e. country), that are clearly being operated to platform hatred. Those require substantial, objectively evaluatable evidence of a pattern of hatred, bigotry, harassment, or violence, and the misfeasance of the moderators of the subreddit. We do not want submissions of 4-month old comments by suspended users that never went live or which received no upvotes, in innocent / well-moderated subreddits.
• We DO NOT accept posts about Child Sexual Exploitation material on Reddit.
Because of legal and ethical considerations, we do not allow the use of /AgainstHateSubreddits to direct attention to sexual or suggestive content involving minors on Reddit -- nor for making allegations that any content on Reddit is sexual or suggestive content involving minors. Please report any content which you reasonably believe to be sexual or suggestive content involving minors using this link: https://www.reddit.com/report?reason=its-sexual-or-suggestive-content-involving-minors Please do not solicit other people to view such material, nor direct others as to where to locate it. That can be distribution of obscene material. It's also traumatic for people exposed to it. Don't share links to it with anyone but the Reddit admins, your attorney where applicable, and law enforcement! You can also use the resources of the FBI via this webpage: https://www.fbi.gov/investigate/violent-crime/cac and the US Department of Justice via this webpage: https://www.justice.gov/actioncentereport-crime#child This has been our long-standing policy - we refuse to amplify child sexual exploitation.
And if you don't think you're a bigot -- but you feel that you can "peacefully coexist" with violent white supremacists, neo-Nazis, the Khmer Rouge, the KKK, the "alt-Right"? ... Historians have a word for the people who went along with the Nazis. That's "Nazi". Or, sadly, "Victim of the Nazis". Als sie die Juden holten, habe ich geschwiegen; ich war ja kein Jude Ask good faith questions not addressed here in the comments below.
I am not a socialist, but I respect your opinions, and I like some of your ideas.
(Look you naive fucktards what he means in Krassspeak is, "We got twitter deplatformed and the money's running low. No one reads our site and our podcast has four suicidal listeners, so I am here to pander to you guys because the Chapo podcast is raking in big patreon bucks and we'd like in on that.") Now we have a discussion about Krasswealth and some of these folks understand that the bros are "bra-s" and have a lot of money, maybe... https://www.reddit.com/ChapoTrapHouse/comments/c238aj/boom_krassensteins_address_exclusively_for_the/erif7fd/
Anyone making less than 10 million a year still ought to become a socialist. It's not like the transition to communism is instant. The labor aristocracy still benefits through labor focused policy.
Other people on here may shit on you excessively, but I want to salute you and your brother for standing with Ilhan Omar when many other liberals joined in with right wingers to shit on her. We may see some things differently but you guys are some of the few liberals out there that I can have a lot of respect for because of that alone. Fight the good fight brothers.
Ed you and your brother should become maoists. I’m not even a maoist, just a concerned citizen, but it would be extremely funny if you became one. Just going around calling people revisionists and shit. Tryna launch a protracted people’s war against the racist villain Donald Trump from the swamps of Florida. Anyway, love your posts, keep it up, death to amerikkka, google Chairman Gonzalo.
That's true but I'm pretty concerned about the fact that like four companies determine who can speak online and who can't. What's the point of having a public guarantee of free speech if almost all speech now takes place in a private realm where that guarantee doesn't apply?
I know we roast you a lot, and will continue roasting you, but it is deeply worrying that anybody can get unpersoned by some faceless mid-level bureaucrat with no warning, recourse, or chance to defend yourself. Hell, we're on a one-way road to getting kicked off Reddit, as well.
>We listen to the show and generally respect those who post here. It's refreshing to see people who can debate a topic without resorting to unsarcastic attacks. We need more people who can laugh at themselves and hear out the other side even if they disagree.
In my circel of friends I have a guy who qualifies as some sort of part-time-Kevin. Most of the times he is a normal guy, but sometimes he stuns us with his stupidity. Some background information: I know Kevin from secondary school (Realschule in germany), so about for 12 years now and he is the only one from this original group of friends who never went to university or cared about higher education and is working in a dead-end-job in finances. Most of our commen friends work has to do with politics in one way or another so our conversations often revolve around current political events and of course Kevin always wants to participate in those conversations. The problem: Kevin never read a news paper or even watched the evening news, he is completly unaware of current issues and his most used sources are facebookposts and the headlines of newsstories (not the story itself, he literally just reads the headline and thinks he knows everthing you need to know). Kevin once got enraged by the fake news. We were driving to the airport and since it was rush hour I was busy driving, while he waffeled something about the evil media. At some point he started to tell me about one of our commen friends (he didn't mention the name, since he wanted to protect his identity) works for the ZDF (Second german TV, a public service broadcaster with one of the biggest newscasts in germany) who had told him that the german goverment and the CIA are in controll of the News and propably the the Zionist also. At this point I looked him dead in the eyes (the first time I didn't look at the road) and said: "Kevin you realized that I work for the ZDF?" (Also I am the only journalist in our circel of friends so he couldn't have meant anybody else). He needed some time to process the information, muffeled something about: "Yeah I know" and went silent for the rest of the journey. He often ends a conversation or discussion with "Yeah I know" and often tries to convince people he just fooled you or played a prank on you. For a few weeks Kevin became a climate chance denier (for two weeks). The climax of climate change denying was at the evening of a birthdayparty we were both invited to, so we drove together. This time he drove the car so I was actually able to listen to his thesis about how climate change was a hoax constructed by the solar power industry to kill of the german economy (I calmly explained to him, that he was talking nonsense) and then we decided to stop for a quick snack since both of us haven't eaten anything and drinking on a empty stomach is not a good idea. So we stopped at a local turkish kebap-shop and Kevin started again with his climate theories. First relativly harmless with his theorie, that all the climat scientist just forgot to calculate the sun and water into their equations, but then started to talk about how Merkel orchestrated the climat lie to give "Braunen Muselfickern" (roughly translated to brown muslim fuckers, but I cant really translate the racial slure) an excuse to come to germany. He said this infront of the turkish shopkeeper, who refused to serve him after this. Kevins explanation was: "The guy is probably a racist, who doesn't serve germans", despite the fact I was served and I look as german as you can (pale, blue eyes, blonde). Monday after the party he send me a bunch of articels with the message: "Read and learn ;)". At first glance the articels seemed like the normal climaet change denying stuff, but I was stuck in a train on my way to work so I looked a bit closer at them and it turned out, those articels are designed to catfish climate change deniers into reading them and then convince them, that climate change is a real threat. I just texted him back, if he even had read the articels and he confidently answered that he literally had studied the articels and is now even more convinced that climate change is a hoax. When I confronted him with the actual content of the articels he just replied: "Yeah I know, it was just a prank.". After this he became a strong advocant for environmental protection and denies that he ever denied climate change. Two years ago we went to a local minigolf course, because we were bored and one of us suggested we could go there because they have cheap beer there and a lake is right next door. When we arrived Kevin started to get a bit grumpy and didn't want to play minigolf anymore since it is a game for little children (because children are also mini, so minigolf must be only for kids) and he felt embarresed by us, because we played a childrens game. After some minuts of convincing him he finally gave in and played along. Well he slurped along and fucked around on every course to show us how boring the hole thing was, he also drank like one beer (0.5 liters) per course and was wasted when we reached the 11th hole out of 18. He then proceeded to call some other friends and loudly proclaimed how boring everthing was and that we were so embarassing since we played a game for babies (at one point he called one of his friends a pedophile, well he screamed it, because he assumed he probably wanted to pick up little grils with his minigolfskills for his "minipenis" - What a pun). After we were done, everbody had enjoyed the evening, besides his constant drunken nagging, the folks he called met us, because we wanted to drink a few cold ones at the beach. One of them asked why we even went to the minigolf course and whos idea it was, since Kevin hated it so much. Well....it was Kevins idea and he was quiet eager to get minigolfing until we arrived. Since he is working in finances as an accountant he is very confident in his knowledge of the market, so he started to buy shares of big companies. Two of those companies where the Deutsche Bank und Comerzbank, both huge banks in germany with a history of violations of german, european and international laws and at this time in huge problems with the Law (Panamapapers and Cum-Ex-Scandels) and Kevin thought it would be good idea to buy these shares befor the investigations were over. Some friends studied economics and BWL (also work in the financesector, but in waaaay better jobs than him) and repeatedly warned him not to buy shares befor the investigations were over, but Kevin didn't listen. He never spoke about the loss he made and gets really defensiv if you ask him about his shareholds, but a friend suggested Kevin had a total loss of around 5k. (He also bought Bitcoins a few days befor the crash, despite numerous warnings). Of course Kevin is quiet the hit with the ladies. He is not bad looking, not at all and the guy is really fit, afterall he is a seasoned climber who climbes over 7000 meters (for real, this is not some sort of from him boastfulness), but oh boy, his social skills are kind of, well, lacking. He is somewhat of a niceguy-kevin, so most girls are not really eager to go home with him. On the birthdayparty of his twinsister he flirted with some other girls from his sisters handball team. So I was not present at this party, since his sister and I don't get along, but another friend was present, who presented us with Kevins hottest moves. First he talked to some of the handball-girls until he exclaimed "I like handball, but not women handball. It is to effeminate and the only good thing about it is, that I can see their pussies.". Needless to say that the chat ended there. After this he talked to another girl and appearently it went quiet well until he offered her a drink in exchange for a blowjob. The girl was either disturbed or thought it was a bad joke, since drinks were free and Kevin was a bit drunk at this point, but after she declined this generous offer he called her a fucking slut and spilled his drink over her. His sister threw him out after this and he lost his smartphone on the way home. Something that occures regulary. This is also the reason why he only owns >100€ phones, because he lost most of them in a matter of weeks. Kevin loves motorcycles! He is not allowed to drive one, since he never got the required licence you need in germany, but this fact never stopped him from buying one. Kevin had the briliant idea to buy a broken bike and restore it himself, since he tought it would be cheaper, the problem is that he knows jackshit about engines and no one of his friends (including me) could help him either since nobody knows much about this stuff. He tried to hire someone to repair the bike, but it was to expensiv, so he decided to leave the thing to rot in the garage. But Kevin would not be Kevin if he would have just recognize his mistake and try to resell it or something like that, no, no. no. He bought a second bike, which was also broken! Now he has two broken motorbikes and can't park his car in the garage anymore. He constantly tries to sell them to one of us, with little to no success. My favorit story is the one when he actually joined a political party and helped them campaigning in our local community. A few months befor the generall elections in germany 2017 he joined the AfD (alternativ for germany, an alt-right party), something no one was really happy about, but okay and claimed he had donated around 2000€ to the party. Since we live in the same community and he was responsible to hang the election campaign posters and since he knew I am a huge opponent to the goals of this party he thought it would be hilarous to put all the posters nearby my house (I literally woke up and opend my window and was greeted by 2 AfD-Posters). So for the hole month until the elections I had to look at those posters and couldn't really do anything about them, since removing electioncampaigne posters would be illegal, but Kevin didn't bother to remove the posters after the election was over. In germany election posters are only allowed at a certain time befor and after an election, otherwise it is illegal and the local party has to pay a fine. Since Kevin didn't remove them and nobody else felt responsible for the total of six elections posters around my house I called the local authorities and they removed the posters (3 months after the election) and the party was fined with 6.000€ (appearently the costs of removing the posters by local community employees). I mock Kevin to this day, that his party donations where probably used to pay off the fine, that he caused. After this he tried to convince us that he actually never joined the party, had nothing to do with the electionposters and of course never donated any money to a party. The fact he proudly had shown us the check with the donation and I was present when he had put up the elections posters didn't change his new narretiv. This post does not include most of the batshit stuff he did when he was actually drunk, but I need to continue working for our zionist reptilian Overlord CIA-Director Merkel or whatever people think those days. Maybe I will write down other stuff Kevin did, if there is demand for it. Edit: Thanks for the spelling corrections, I corrected most of the mistakes. Part II: Kevin is a master of day to day life www.reddit.com/StoriesAboutKevin/comments/c6xeuq/kevin_is_a_master_of_day_to_day_life_vol_ii/ Part III: Kevin is a master of alcohol consumption: www.reddit.com/StoriesAboutKevin/comments/ca9tmkevin_is_a_master_of_alcohol_consumption_vol_iii/ Part IV: Kevin is a master of puberty: www.reddit.com/StoriesAboutKevin/comments/ch7hdz/kevin_is_a_master_of_puberty_vol_iv/
Zoarkim the naive Lizardman had a unique accent. Every ‘s’ that he pronounced was extended thrice as long. This is fine if I wanted to make clear when I spoke in-character, but it started to bug the heck out of the rest and it became difficult for me to speak as well. This became apparent when being unable to choose a ssspear or a musssical inssstrument. The group mockingly asked me if I wouldn’t rather wanted a sssword or a ssshield, but I told them that I wasn’t an assssssassssssin. The accent became old very quickly and he didn’t have any redeeming qualities, to begin with. I’ve seen plenty of aggravating characters in my time. Characters who don’t understand that the way they behave is grating for the rest of the party and the campaign. From silly to boring to downright disgusting, some players create characters that make it hard to get into the adventurous feel of the game. But because I have made that same mistake I advise anyone not to do the same. In a way, you could ask yourself: “Would I marry this character?” Would you be willing to spend your life with this character? Allow me to elaborate on why this is important to give it a thought.
Understanding The Scope
When playing a One-Shot, you will play about to 3, maybe 5 hours for one day and after that, the character might be gone, nothing but a memory when looking at that character sheet. Anything short-term like that wouldn’t have a large impact on a long-running campaign. But when it does get into a long-running campaign or you start to play in one, you will play 3 to 5 hours in a day on a weekly or monthly basis and possibly to level 20 which might take a year or longer. Now assess the situation here: You will play the same character for a year or longer. You are basically stuck with the same person for a year or even longer. Even when the campaign wouldn’t go that far or you just play a One-Shot, there is still the chance that it might go on or its completely ruined because someone has been acting like an abrasive jerk all the time even though you wanted it to go on. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun or change your character, but when your character is set and done, you have the whole package. It wouldn’t make sense to change some parts because you regret some things after five sessions. You could’ve given it some more thought than that. It’s important to keep the scope in mind that the choices you settle with are something that you are stuck with for an incredibly long time. This is a good way to make some realistic decisions and give your character concept a double check before starting. And don’t lie to yourself and say “Yeah, I want to play this!” just to ignore the fact that you will forget it later or think you can coerce, goad and beg your DM to change your character for whatever reason. You risk being kicked out of the group for any extremely unwanted behavior or continued character flops.
So you create a character called Gordon Blue, Poopy McShmooperpants, or an Austrian Warforged Barbarian Noble called The Governator. Yeah, that’s fun, right? You might make names like that for your avatar in computer games so that people call you Mr Fudgenugget or they have to accept that your face is all gross and mangled and act like nothing is wrong, right? How long does that joke last? To whom is that still funny? Because being on your own in that way is harmless, the computer game is going to act like nothing is wrong and you can still be an adventurer because you don’t care about it, right? Some people on video game shows do this as it creates something endearing sometimes. But D&D is different. That joke character that you made is funny. To you. At character creation. For one moment. Your fellow players might give it a chuckle, maybe a polite laugh. After that, the joke is old. Like bread that has been laying out in the open, it’s stale after that one day and nobody likes it anymore. Imagine going to a restaurant, spending time with people and paying full price for quality food, and those pieces of bread you get are just day-old stale pieces of bread, the soup is cold, the food has lost its taste, and the ice already melted. That’s what it’s like when a player creates such a joke character. It’s what it’s like when dealing with such a joke character. It sucks a lot of the credibility out of the adventure where people invested their time in. I get it, coming up with names is hard. It doesn’t need to be a spectacular name, just go online and grab a name generator or look up a list of real names if you really don’t care. But if you’d walk around with a name like Buttnugget von Poopiepants, you’d be bullied until you’d hate yourself and the ones who named you. Nobody would take you seriously if you’d introduce yourself as they think you’re pulling a prank on them. You’d be jobless, have no friends, and just be depressed as your whole life is incredibly hard because your parents gave you a ridiculous name. Yes, you are still allowed to create a somewhat funny or comedic character if it fits the campaign setting (always ask your DM about the campaign setting before character creation), but if that comedic effect doesn’t go beyond the introduction of the character, then you might as well leave the table and never come back after that because that character is nothing but an annoyance. A comedic character is something archetypical, it is able to generate fresh comedy from its being once every session while still being credible enough for people to relate to, including yourself. A repeated joke is not funny after it’s already been told.
When choosing an accent or way of speech for your character, do keep the scope in mind. If you create an oriental person with a thick German accent, not only is that nonsensical but if you’re not used to speaking German, that accent will hurt your jaws. If it can be done without a thick accent, please do so. It could be a subtle accent, something that matches the characters place of origin. Otherwise, if your character has a certain voice characteristic such as a lisp, a nasal tone, a different intonation, or a raspy voice, I want to remind you that you will have to stick with that whenever you speak. And you will speak for about 3 to 5 hours in a session, weekly, for a year. Keeping your voice raspy and gravely on a weekly basis for hours runs you the risk of developing a polyp in your vocal cords and the procedure of removing one can risk you in losing your voice and it’s expensive to boot. Yes, voice actors can do this for a long time, but that’s because they are professional voice actors, they have been trained to do this and they keep good care of their voice as it is their money maker. They wouldn’t go about creating silly voices unless they’re aware that they have to do that for hours on end. Sometimes their act is good enough when they speak normally or adjust their voice slightly. That’s part of the art as well, it doesn’t need to go to extremes. Having a DM who can do voices is great for immersion. It makes it feel like the character is really there and gives you a better read on its personality. That’s a good example for you. That’s the upside for it. But don’t mistake the DM’s ways of voice acting as an excuse to do the same and in the same way. The characters that the DM plays won’t exist for long. They aren’t around with the party for hours on end and don’t need to keep talking for so long. Your DM isn’t ‘married’ to these NPCs, that Demon with the dark voice was destroyed in the same session as when you first heard it speak, that high-pitched screaming creature sure was loud, but it didn’t follow you around for the entire campaign. The variety in the DM’s characters are necessary for the campaign, but when one sounded or acted annoying, it wouldn’t be around like that for long. Your character, however, will.
So you have a mage that wants to shoot fireballs everywhere or a dwarf that unclogs his nose at everyone every single minute. Would meeting someone like that make you feel at ease? Wouldn’t it make you uncomfortable if you actually met such a person? Such acts may sound like fun at first, but just like The Joke, it gets old very fast and starts to get really bothersome. Repeating the same disruptive or anti-social shtick every time will eventually get you kicked out or never be invited to the game again. Now, of course, every person has flaws, little things such as being a klutz or having a short temper are things that some people have to deal with. Making connections with other people also means that you have to be okay with some of your own flaws and those of others. But would you want to be with someone who can’t shut up about bitcoin? Would you be okay with someone who is obsessed with cats to the point that she doesn’t have a personality or subject that doesn’t revolve around cats? Could you stand someone’s racist statements even though it’s not aimed at you if that person wouldn’t stop about it for one day? Would you be okay with someone who rubs his crotch against everything and grabs peoples butts all the time, and I do mean all the time? Ask yourself this and give yourself an honest answer. If you are okay with any of the above-stated personality traits, then I suggest you give yourself a reality check. The balance in this is when the flaws are significant enough to come up in some inopportune moments, but won’t make the character ineffective, makes other characters ineffective, or has to halt the entire adventure because of one little thing. If your character has such a flaw, you might want to find a way to change it or just reel it in a little bit to make it possible but not too silly. If your character hates a certain thing, then that doesn’t mean that the rest of the party can’t do anything because of that. Your character can still agree with a plan but do so begrudgingly.
Will You Take This Character?
So would you marry your character if it were your preferred gender or race? The gravity of this question is important to make you think about how long you are willing to play this character. A date is meant to see if there’s a spark or some chemistry, a relationship is somewhat the same but long-term and indefinite, but to make a vow to be with someone for the rest of your life? That’s a heavy decision. You share your money, items, home, and bed with that person. You see that person every day from morning to evening. It’s not just some experiment or a choice that can be altered halfway through, it’s a heavy decision. You have the whole package of that person on a daily basis, flaws and all. You better imagine what your life would be like if you’d made that choice. Would you accept the good with the bad? So if you made your character and would say “No, I wouldn’t want to be with this character.” Try to figure out why not. What things does it have that would make you go “Yeah, that’s a no go.” because chances are, it’s what makes your gaming experience less fun. An experimental session is like a date, but a campaign might as well feel like 24 hours a day every day, will you accept the character for what it is now and invite it to grow a bit more, or would it be too unbearable to handle? You can still change that and have the power to reel in the awful things or learn to accept the little flaws that it has. Hopping in there not knowing how aggravating it can get can ruin what you had. Give it a thought, perhaps in some way you’d be willing to marry your character. I know I do.
Why do engineering majors/fields attract so many libertarians?
No seriously though. The vast majority of racist/sexist/ableist/classist jokes, memes, comments, etc I've noticed as a college freshman come from engineering majors. I've also noticed that engineering majors tend to be obsessed with getting rich quick and bitcoin mining. They're also obsessed with working for big tech companies. (On the other hand, I've noticed that science and humanities majors are more open to working for government or academia as well as the private sector.) It makes a lot of sense that business/econ majors would attract libertarians (making money), but why engineering majors? On the flip side, why are the more left-wing/politically active people usually humanities majors? Something similar could be said for the hyper-competitive/somewhat elitist (though thankfully not as bigoted, at least not openly) people I've noticed on the pre-med track in my college, although I wouldn't consider them libertarians.
Bitcoin enthuthiast has a meltdown after meme accuses him of being a pedophile and of cheating others out of what would be their money. (apparently unironic)
How it actually happened: This is Ann. Ann started her career at 16 when she blew the manager (a creepy pervert who forced her into it, she #MeToos to this day) at the local grocery store so she could immediately get a position as a cashier instead of having to start off in the storeroom stacking boxes "like some Chinese slave worker". Ann, who believed in "treating" herself for her hard work, did not save any of the money she earned, instead spending it on expensive clothing, fast food, movie tickets, smartphones, and nights out with "the girls" (as she never paid while on an actual date). Her parents took care of the bills anyway, so who cares? It's okay though, because Ann was able to get financial aid from the government to attend the university of her dreams and study sociology, because "I'm, like, just so interested in how society works and how white men oppress women and are so racist and stuff, you know?" It only put her $100K in debt too. "You can't put a price on the college experience," thought Ann. Ann did no research on what degrees were in high demand before deciding on her major and sadly, "due to the patriarchy undervaluing the so-called 'soft' sciences" Ann repeated (as her women's studies professor had told her), her sociology degree did not open up as many doors for her as she'd hoped. Luckily, however, one of Ann's old beta orbiters became the CEO of a new tech startup and, after finally hooking up with him a few times (her little secret from her then boyfriends Tyrone and Jamal), she was able to snag a position as their chief diversity counselor. "Good thing that fat black bitch who tried to steal MY job was too full of fried chicken and gravy for any man to want to fuck her," she tipsily joked about the only other applicant (always forgetting to squelch her offensive quips when drunk), eliciting howling guffaws of approval from the pack of thonged, dyed-hair hyenas that surrounded her at the local bar in celebration of her new job. "Bartender, get us another round of appletinis!" Ann boomed. Cheers abounded. Life was good, Ann's salary was high, and her mortgage for an $800K home in the Bay Area was approved. Unfortunately, it was eventually revealed that her company's "enterprise cloud blockchain solutions" were actually vaporware. It lost its VC funding and was forced to shut down. Poor Ann had to leave her dream home, accept a lower paid HR assistant position at a boring non-tech company ("They make plastic water filters or something. I don't even know."), and move into a mere 3 bedroom apartment. "We're told to save," wrote Ann on a piece of paper that she posed with in an image posted to her Instagram, "but Oreos and Netflix are the only comforts poor people like us have. Don't we deserve nice things too? I AM the 99%!" Ann's looks are already starting to fade due to ravages of a rough Haagen-Dazs by day/party slut by night lifestyle, and, though she'd never admit it to herself, she can tell that her "feminine charms" aren't as effective at creating opportunities for her as they used to be. Things have started to sag that never sagged before and even a Sephora warehouse couldn't get rid of the bags under her eyes. Strolling down the sidewalk, she takes a sip of her daily Starbucks triple pumpkin dessert cocoaccino latte (only $27 and 1500 calories, and don't even think about talking to her her in the morning until she's finished it). "I guess there's just no way to escape this male-dominated society where sexist techbros live in the lap of luxury while marginalized people like me subsist on crumbs," she thinks to herself as she steps over a homeless man. Meanwhile... This is Bob. Bob was bullied by the other kids at his school (like his first crush Ann) as a child for his slightly odd-looking face. This caused him to retreat into the more anonymous world of the Internet where nobody could know his appearance. The other kids mocked him for that too, and his parents didn't understand why he'd want to "waste" his time talking to people he "didn't even know", but he ignored them. It didn't entirely cure his loneliness, but it did expose him to ideas and opinions that he would not have otherwise explored. Sure, he went through an embarrassingly self-righteous atheist phase as a teenager, but ultimately he developed into a sharp free-thinker with nuanced opinions. Bob found out about Bitcoin in 2012 from a Linux forum he was browsing. Already a firm believer in privacy, cryptography, decentralization, and technological freedom in general, the idea of Bitcoin immediately excited him. After carefully considering the economic viability of the concept, he concluded that Bitcoin's deflationary issuance curve and the possible applications of an enforceably scarce digital asset made it a worthwhile and likely quite valuable investment. He thus resolved to accrue as many of them as possible in order to save for his future. He cut down on his favorite hobby of gaming, reserving his GPU cycles for Bitcoin mining and his Steam sale money for buying Bitcoins instead. His IT job didn't make much and his one bedroom apartment wasn't cheap but he always found a way to set some money aside to expand his growing cryptoasset portfolio. His enthusiasm for Bitcoin was endless, and he wanted to share the positive potential of it with the world too, so he wrote guides, created infographics, and made YouTube videos about how to buy, use, and mine Bitcoins. Due to his efforts, thousands of people were able to get in on the craze early like him. Parents created college funds for their children. Young adults his age secured their financial futures. Impoverished folks in oppressive shitholes learned how to transfer money via their smartphones to avoid their corrupt governments confiscating it. He even endured the eye-rolling and snickering of his family members at Christmas time to make sure that they were all gifted a bit too. "Gee... thanks." The 2013 crash crushed Bob. He considered recouping as much of his money as possible and exiting the Bitcoin world permanently, but ultimately decided against it on principle. He had taken a risk and was sticking to it. He still believed in Bitcoin. Bob's bet on Bitcoin has paid off. He is now a multimillionaire, at least on paper. Other than a few donations to various organizations, his Bitcoins have stayed in the original addresses they were first put into. After all, he is still prudently considering exactly how to spend and grow his newfound wealth, and since he's now the manager of his company's IT department, his salary more than supports his modest lifestyle by itself, so he's in no rush to "cash out". While trying to chat with Ann on a whim after running into her at a grocery store, Bob mentioned Bitcoin to her in 2012. It made her finally look up from her phone. "That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of!" she shrieked. She would know too, she thought, since she's a college-educated woman, unlike Bob who had skipped college because "government subsidies have distorted the higher education market and lowered the value of a college degree" (as if using fancy words made him smart like her). Nevertheless, he persisted, offering to show her how it worked and even set up a wallet for her. Bob's Bitcoin evangelism could certainly be a bit aggressive at times, but he meant well. He would gladly send 10 or 20 dollars worth to anybody who wanted to get started. She responded that he was creeping her out and needed to buzz off before she called security. Of course she wasn't really going to waste such an effort on this harmless loser, but she just couldn't stand hearing his nasally little voice anymore. He probably just wanted to creepshot her yoga pants anyway. Briskly sauntering away, she giggled to herself: "How could a file on a computer be worth anything? I could just copy and paste as many 'BitCoins' as I want," she concluded, forgetting about the idea as soon as she had first heard of it. Plus, her company was already working "with blockchain", which its CEO had told her was the only important part of "BitCoin" anyway. "He has actual money too and not just fake Internet coins so he clearly knows more than Bob." Ann took slight notice of the 2013 bubble, but she was too busy moving into her new home then to pay much attention to it. When Bitcoin was hacked and the government shut it down (as Ann interpreted events), popping the bubble, she texted Bob: "Told ya so." There was no response. She figured he had probably already killed himself or something. Oh well! She had to get out of her sweatpants and ready for the club anyway so she didn't have time to worry about it. In fact, she didn't have a single thought about Bob again until... In 2017, Bob once again crosses Ann's mind. The network miraculously revived, one Bitcoin is now worth over 10 thousand dollars, and Bob is almost certainly loaded. She stares at her phone, thinking of how to best break the ice with him. "Hey Bob I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for some of the things I said to you in the past and how I treated you when we were kids and all. I know this is out of nowhere but I'm just kind of feeling guilty lately soo.... maybe we could meet up sometime and talk about it?? You could tell me more about those bitcoin thingies you we're so excited about back in the day haha" Again no response comes and she whips her iPhone X on to the bed in frustration. Retrieving it, she switches over to Safari to look Bob up on social media, only to find that he's dating a shy 18 year old Finnish girl he met online. "That pervert!" she gasps as she glances over the girl's milky skin and youthful face. "She is WAY too young for him! He should want an ACCOMPLISHED, MATURE woman like me, not some little girl! I bet the freak looks at child porn too!" Her fingers drip with venom as she texts one of her remaining beta orbiters. "Hey," she begins, "you know how to draw funny cartoons right" She hits send.
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jim davidson Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. --Mitt Romney is recorded making bizarre comments about Hispanic voters and Mexicans, indicating that if he had Mexican parents, he'd have a better shot at winning the Presidential election. -On ... Trimmed down version of the original 'Best of Seasons 1, 2 & 3' which can no longer be viewed. One thing's for certain, you will never hear these songs in the same way again! Do you have any other misheard lyrics to add to the list? Let us know in the ...